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Flesh Gordon II: Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders

FLESH GORDON  (1974)

I miss the seventies.  I was cynical and dismissive of them at the time, and then the eighties came along and I quickly realized that I'd been a fool -- I hadn't known when I was well off.  The seventies were the one time when I felt like I was living in a free country... and one sign of why it felt that way is that only then could something like this have been made.  It's an X-rated softcore sex farce parodying Flash Gordon, and it's very silly, yet it actually has a budget, or at least the appearance of one.  Some of the effects and design are as good as the Dino DeLaurentiis Flash Gordon made six years later.  Occasionally it's better -- there's one sequence where Flesh fights a stop-motion metal bug thing, for instance, that's as realistically executed as any Ray Harryhausen fight scene of the time.  And the ending where the evil Wang's fortress goes up in multiple explosions is almost James Bondian in thoroughness.

As erotica, of course, it's just a curio... any late-night cable TV movie will show you better fake fucking nowadays.  At least better presented, if not quite as realistically performed.  (Actually, it turns out they did film some hardcore footage, and then left it out due to a combination of police harrassment and desire to reach a wider audience.  There are still one or two brief scene where extras in the background do something that wouldn't be allowed on cable... and at least one apparently softcore scene is actually hardcore, except that we don't see the hard parts.  Ahem.)  But it actually does a halfway decent job of giving us a satisfying adventure story along with all the farce, and the acting is not as bad as you might expect, and some of the jokes are funny.  There were various other softcore sex farces, but only this one still holds an audience in the midnight movie crowd, because they just did such a surprisingly good job of it.  In most old X-rated movies, the plot is an afterthought to the sex, getting minimal attention and effort... in this one, it's the other way around: the erotic action seems thrown together with minimal attention while the spoof adventure story gets all the care and enthusiasm.

FLESH GORDON II: FLESH GORDON MEETS THE COSMIC CHEERLEADERS  (1989)   -- not seen yet

"Fails miserably both as comedy and as porn."  -- some random person